Strictly Incubusiness

  Strictly Incubusiness

  By Vanessa Mulberry

  Text Copyright © Vanessa Mulberry 2017

  All Rights Reserved

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The Obligatory HEA Epilogue

  A #buttweek book for my butt lovin’ buddy.

  Incubus need sex to live but Kai’s been keeping himself hungry. He’s not one of those Fuck You to Death demons; he’s a decent guy who helps out at the Magical Animal Shelter and makes sure humans enjoy his body in moderation. He never expected to be arrested for a murder he didn’t commit, and away from his brothel for a few days, he soon finds himself starving. It doesn’t help that the bounty hunter who picked him up is an immortal, and a gorgeous one at that.

  Tynan of the Mount is well aware that the incubus he arrested looks at him like he’s an all-you-can-eat buffet, but he wrote the Bounty Hunter Guild’s code of ethics and he’s not about to sleep with an acquisition, no matter how much they both want it. He needs to focus on work and get Kai into court without other Guild members trying to get a piece of the large reward on offer for his capture.

  But Tynan believes in justice, and when he discovers Kai is innocent, he has to make a choice between Kai’s freedom and his own job. Can he guarantee a fair trial? Can he allow himself to feed Kai some of his unlimited life force through the medium of sex? And can he stop being a grumpy bastard for long enough to develop feelings for the handsome incubus?

  Strictly Incubusiness is a 37,000 word stand-alone Fantasy MM Romance that enjoys long walks through the forest and role-playing as a light Comedy at the weekends.

  Chapter One

  Kai bounced up and down on the client’s cock unenthusiastically and thought it was shaping up to be another average day.

  It was three in the afternoon and this was his first customer, but business didn’t normally get going until after dark. He’d fit in two more tonight, probably men, though all of the genders suited him well enough. It was all the same when you were gulping down their life force, and getting to that point was enjoyable however you did it. Usually anyway. The human beneath him could liven things up a bit, but needs must when you’re a hungry demon.

  Gavin? Govan? Geffen? The human was called something like that. Perhaps not Geffen—Geffens were usually dirty bastards. Gordon, maybe? The name didn’t matter. Kai would always know him by scent, and he’d be marked as untouchable. This wouldn’t happen again for all the gold Aurumnia.

  He stifled a yawn and clenched his asshole, eliciting a happy murmur from his companion—whatever he was called.

  “You like?” Kai asked, increasing the speed of his hips.

  Another groan, which Kai took to be an affirmative.

  “Good, good. I’m getting peckish. I’m going to take a couple of days from you. Say now if you want to tip me, and I’ll have a week.”

  He squeezed his hole again the G-Man nodded vigorously.

  “A week it is then. If you’re ready?”

  Kai ground down and felt the cock push up beneath him—the first movement the human had made with his hips. To be fair, Kai wasn’t light, but he was used to lovers with a bit more oomph. “That’s it,” he cooed, “Keep doing that.”

  The human bucked up again, harder this time. He slapped his hands on Kai’s thighs and held him down as he forced himself upwards. Kai leaned down over him, ready to feed on his kiss as soon as they were both coming.

  BANG!

  It was the bad kind of bang, not the good one that promised sweet life force and a gushing orgasm. Kai looked to the doorway. Three seconds beforehand, the door had been there, just as it ought to be. Now it was slammed against the wall and replaced by a man so large he blocked the space altogether.

  Beneath Kai, the human lost his nerve and pushed him off, detaching himself with less care than he ought to have used, though he hurt himself rather than Kai. He was off the bed in a moment, snatching up his clothes and hopping out of the window. They were only on the first floor, but Kai heard the obscenities when he hit the ground outside.

  “There goes my lunch,” Kai huffed, fixing the doorway sized man with a stare.

  To Kai’s surprised, the interloper was quite handsome, in a rough sort of way, though that might be Kai’s empty butt and hard dick talking. If you ran a comb through the stranger’s long, straggly hair, trimmed his beard and scrubbed some of the barnyard smell off of him, he’d probably be one of the most attractive guys Kai had been with. Most importantly, he looked like quite a hearty meal.

  “Some days I love my job,” Kai murmured, looking him up and down.

  If Doorway Man was interested, he didn’t let on. “Are you the demon known as Kai?” he asked. Like his body, his voice was gruff and sexy.

  “You’re supposed to make an appointment,” Kai chided, “but as this slot is now available, you might as well come inside. You’ll need to wash first, and the bathwater’s probably still warm. Let me just fetch a plug.”

  He made no move, so Kai pottered about the room, plugging his empty hole and then dressing. The plug had caused some heavy breathing from the vicinity of the doorway but beyond that nothing. Eventually, fully dressed in his tightest black leather trousers and nothing else, Kai turned his attention back to his new client.

  “Bath,” Kai instructed. “Don’t let these cute little horns fool you. I don’t sleep with men whose clothes smell like their last sexual partner was a goat.”

  Doorway Man’s eyes narrowed. “You’re under arrest.”

  “What for?”

  “The murder of the Reclusive Prince.”

  “What?” Kai was so surprised his plug almost popped out. “That’s ridiculous. Who are you?”

  “Tynan of the Mount.”

  Kai eyed him. Was this a joke? Was there some play on mounting here that he wasn’t getting? He certainly wasn’t getting mounted, which is what usually happened with men who walked into his room at the brothel.

  “I get it,” he said, cocking his head and looking Tynan up and down. “The guys have organized this, haven’t they? You’re here to give me a scare, then a striptease—slow please, I like to be teased—then a really good feed. It must be my birthday. Or maybe it’s a year since I bought the place? Wait! This is to celebrate the Gastro Star we’ve been awarded. Nothing like cream served off the biggest tits in the kingdom is there? I knew they’d go for it.”

  Tynan snorted. “Alright, you’re definitely Kai. I’d heard you were an annoying little shit that doesn’t know when to shut up and so far you’ve not disappointed. You’re under arrest on suspicion of murder. You have the right to remain silent. Frankly, I’d prefer it if you do.”

  Kai gave Tynan another glance over. He was a big, for a human. Kai was small for a demon, though that still made him larger than most of the humans he encountered. Kai had the sort of tight muscles humans got by working, not the enormous great bulk Tynan had acquired from doing… whatever it was he did. Probably lifting barrels and posing in the mirror.

  Whatever, Kai would play the game with him. If
he were like any of the other lawmen Kai had slept with, this would at least be interesting. He walked straight up to Tynan and poked him in the chest with the bony end of his tail. “Look. Tynan. Of. The. Mount,” he said, punctuating each word with a prod, “You’re a big human. Really big. But humans are no match for demons, and if I want to rip you apart and cum all over your— Argh! Bastard!”

  At some point, while Kai had been squaring up to the big bully, Tynan had slapped chains on him.

  “Cold iron,” Tynan chuckled. “Try and get out of that.”

  Kai looked down at the cuffs on his wrists and growled out a list of things so obscene he wouldn’t even attempt them in bed. The cuffs were turning to rust, but they were pure iron and were burning his skin and sapping his energy. He scrabbled at them, trying to get them off but he hadn’t the strength. He grabbed uselessly at the chain between the wrist cuffs and pulled it. That only irritated his skin at least. It must be an alloy.

  Tynan mumbled some words and the burning sensation stopped. “Does it still hurt?” Tynan didn’t look like he gave much of a crap if it did.

  “It does. And if I’m your prisoner I have rights. Take it off.”

  “You have the right to be provided with protective wards, not to go chain free. Get your things together. We’ve got traveling to do.”

  Ten minutes later, and with a hastily stuffed bag of clothes under his arm and a fur coat around his shoulders, Kai walked through the busy brothel saloon with his head held high. Yes, he was under arrest, but he still had his dignity.

  “I’m off for a bit,” he called to old Eckbert who was keeping the bar. “Look after the place in my absence, will you?”

  Eckbert spat into the glass he was polishing and nodded.

  “And you Cedrine,” Kai said, pointing towards one of the more experienced whores with the end of his tale. “Make sure Eckbert’s hands stay out of the till.”

  She rolled her eyes but agreed.

  “And you Bettina, sweet, lovely Bettina. I know about the Buckweed trade you’re running from your room.”

  Bettina turned bright red and dashed to the stairs, no doubt looking to dispose of her stash in the privy before anyone else could find it.

  “It’s bad for you!” Kai called after her.

  They reached the door and he stopped, turning to face the room and give what may be his final speech. There was a sea of faces looking at him, some curious, others ready to enjoy the show. Yes, a few looked a little bored, but Kai knew his arrest would be the talk of the city tomorrow and they really ought to be riveted by what was happening. It wasn’t every day Aurumnia’s premier demon whore was arrested. In fact, it had only happened on sixteen occasions since his arrival there the previous year, and this was the first time he was in chains and innocent of the charge.

  Kai considered himself a law-abiding citizen, but he was also an outsider in Aurumnia. Nobody had told him that it is illegal to empty a chamber pot from an upper floor window between the hours of 5am and 9pm. And they had failed to mention that there was a city-wide ban on keeping dragons as household pets. Kai always paid his fines, apologized, and accepted his slap on the wrists. That was the sort of demon he was.

  And it had to be said, there were advantages to becoming acquainted with the local watch. They were regular brothel users, ran a very reasonable protection racket, usually gambled and drank it all back into the business, anyway, and it meant the only fights that happened were the ones they started. It was easy work for the whores too, who just had to listen to them cry.

  Kai surveyed the saloon for the last time, took a deep breath and opened his mouth to make an impassioned speech on his innocence. Tynan yanked him through the door a second later.

  “Come on. I want to be on the road to Belmon before nightfall.”

  Kai struggled, and Tynan picked him up and tossed him over his shoulder, catching Kai’s displaced bag as he did so.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Kai demanded. “Put me down!”

  Tynan humped him over to a wooden cart and put Kai down in the back of it, gently at least. He was less careful about tossing the bag in behind him. “I don’t do bars,” he said, indicating the open walls of the cart. “You can jump out. You can run. And I’ll stop the horse and chase you down and put you back.”

  It sounded suspiciously like an invitation to try it. Eyeing a set of leg irons that were in the back of the cart with him, Kai decided not to. Better to wait. If he had to run it would be preferable to do so when the horse was traveling at speed and there were woods nearby to disappear into.

  “Not much point in running now,” Kai said, pretending to be bored with the whole thing. It looked like Tynan was bored too because he walked around to the front of the cart and climbed on, completely ignoring Kai. That was the one thing that always wound Kai up. He was too used to being fawned over by weak-willed, cunt-drunk humans when he first met them. Sure, they soon realized he was just a regular guy and treated him as such, but he was still an incubus and that had its advantages.

  To all appearances, Tynan just couldn’t see how fuckable Kai was, which made him a rare beast indeed. Kai did not like rare beasts.

  “I’ve not killed anyone, so I might as well let you waste your time, miss out on your reward, and then ruin you financially and spiritually with a claim for compensation later. I’ve got a remarkable mind, you know, I’m memorizing everything meticulously. It will all be used against you. I know people, important people who I’m not afraid to call upon, should the need arise. You’ll regret this, you’ll see. And you will—”

  “It’s going to be a long drive to Belmon if you keep up this stream of shit,” Tynan said, voicing rising above Kai’s chatter. “Shut your mouth before I cast a spell of silence and shut it for you.”

  “That’s actually illegal under—”

  “Don’t care.”

  “But I could have you—”

  “Mute, five minutes,” Tynan growled, snapping his finger over his shoulder in Kai’s direction.

  Kai huffed silently and slumped down into the cart. A moment later, they began the bumpy ride to Belmon.

  Chapter Two

  Tynan always knew this would be hard. The capture had been easy, with Kai putting up suspiciously little resistance, but Tynan had more to fight than just the demon’s mouth.

  He wasn’t immune to the charms of an incubus. Tynan had never indulged himself, but he’d also never met an incubus he hadn’t wanted to fuck into the mattress, up against the wall, and now as he was feeling particularly adventurous, in the back of his cart. And though Kai was smaller than the usual ones, who were generally more Tynan sized, he had the oversized cock all sex-demons sported. That made Tynan’s own oversized cock twitch in his uncomfortably tight breeches.

  And Kai was a double threat. He had a great body and a face to match. That pale demon skin, the shaggy black hair, and the most unusual eyes—they were purple. Purple eyes! Tynan had never seen any demon with eyes like that.

  A double threat indeed—no, a triple threat. Being a demon, Kai had the one thing Tynan wanted in a partner more than anything else. He was long-lived.Four centuries of lovers with human lifespans had been too much. After losing his last partner almost seventy years before, Tynan had decided he’d never let himself fall in love again. If he were ever going to break that rule, it would only be a man like Kai who could do it.

  Thank the gods then that Kai was annoying. Tynan had spent most of the last century working alone, sometimes spending days on the road without talking to another soul. He was used to silence and his own company. He was grateful that most of the criminals he captured kept their mouths shut, having nothing good to say to the bounty hunter that had picked them up. But Kai was, by all accounts he had received, the sort of person who filled silences. Tynan wasn’t here for that.

  They were approaching the city wall when Bradrick came limping up the road behind them, half-dressed and hair a mess. “Tynan!” he shouted, chasing the cart.
“You need some help with the prisoner?”

  Tynan pulled the horse to a stop and looked back at his rival. Bradrick was a flash git. Handsome, in an ugly sort of way, and he knew it. He didn’t tempt Tynan.

  At least he was dressed now. The sight of Bradrick naked, Kai straddling him, was something Tynan wasn’t sure he’d ever scrub from his memory. It wasn’t right that such an odious little turd should get to fuck a demon like Kai. Especially under those circumstances.

  “Sorry, he’s mine,” he said when Bradrick caught up to the cart.

  “I believe I got there first,” Bradrick said, a toothy grin spreading across his face. “I panicked, but you can’t deny I had it right where I wanted it. You ought to at least share the reward with me.”

  The way Tynan felt right now, he wouldn’t share a kind word with him, let alone a reward. “You fucked the acquisition instead of arresting him. That’s your mistake, not mine. You can get kicked out of the Guild for that.”

  “Only if they find out about it. And you’re not going to tell them, are you?”

  “If I find out you’ve fucked another acquisition, I won’t just tell the Guild. I’ll haul your ass in for sexual assault.”

  Tynan tugged the reins and the cart moved on, leaving Bradrick stood by the road.

  “That’s my bounty, Tynan!” he shouted. “We’ll sort this out on the road!”

  “Fuck you too!” Tynan called back, not even bothering to look at him. Funny how three little words could feel so good. Perhaps Tynan would get used to talking after all. It had taken the edge off, but what he really wanted right now was a smoke.

  He took the reins in one hand and fished about in his pocket with the other, looking for his pipe. It was already stuffed with tobacco, and he muttered a spell of ignition to get it burning.

  “Bradrick? I could have sworn his name began with a G.”

  Tynan groaned. His spell had worn off, and he wasn’t about to use another, not after threatening the Guild on Bradrick. His own indiscretion was minor, but he’d helped create the Guild’s code of ethics, and he wasn’t about to break it again.